Game 52: Tiger's Eye

[dramatispersonae]

[ You're in the middle of an empty field, save for your team and a table large enough to seat everyone. On the table are pen and paper, as well as a small black box. The box itself has an area covered with wire mesh and a large red button on it labeled "Record". As you settle in, a voice seems to come out of nowhere: ]

Today, we're here to test your wilderness survival skills. Are you ready?

(OOC: Each situation is both read aloud and can be found written on a piece of paper on the table. Answers can be written or spoken into the recorder.)

Comments

SITUATION ONE

[dramatispersonae]

A normal human male who has not jerked off in two weeks, but is looking quite fetching in his kilt, sports shoes, and sweater, has just been spotted by a pack of werecamels. They begin circling around her, looking very hungry. If you were this completely normal human, how would you escape from the werecamels intact?

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[orange_sun]

...I think that's more detail than we need, thanks.

Re: DISCUSS

[reducedtoasch]

... How are those two things even related.

Re: DISCUSS

[reachforthesky]

*hello I am late.*

. . . what's a kilt?

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[orange_sun]

First, he'd take off his sweater and throw it into the face of the closest werecamel, distracting it. While it was confused and couldn't see, he'd break past it and run to the nearest tree. If the others were too close behind him, he'd throw his kilt at them, but hopefully that wouldn't be necessary. Once at the tree, he'd climb up and break off a branch to beat them off with, once he was high enough.

SITUATION TWO

[dramatispersonae]

As a young, fully human girl skips through the woods, she hears something ominous above her. She is equipped with a jumping rope, a snuggie, a fountain pen, and one large condom. Plan a way for her to escape from the One Winged Hippo alive.

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[orange_sun]

...is it playing the music?

Re: DISCUSS

[reducedtoasch]

[ This face. ]

Re: DISCUSS

[highasakite]

. . .

[s-so pinged, LOOKING AT DUSK]

Re: DISCUSS

[straydog]

What.

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[reducedtoasch]

Lure it down, then use the blanket to block its vision. Use the rope to bind around its neck for a makeshift harness or binding, just enough to get close enough to stab its eyes with the pen then allow it to wear itself down enough to strangle it.

SITUATION THREE

[dramatispersonae]

An older human male wanders too close to the pitcher roses. They begin strangling him and pulling him closer to the "petals", which are actually tongues surrounding a central spiral of teeth. The older man has chewing gum, two melons, one lilac dress, fishnet stockings, and black stiletto heels with him. How can he escape with at least 90% of his body intact?

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[reachforthesky]

*:|a*

...shove the melons in the mouths to choke them...

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

PICK YOUR CHAMPION

[dramatispersonae]

Team, please choose one of your members to represent you in the final challenge of this game.

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

FINAL CHALLENGE

[dramatispersonae]

CHALLENGER

[dramatispersonae]

[ Asch is now alone in the woods and hears something ominous from above. Just like the little girl from the question, you are now equipped with a jumping rope, a snuggie, a fountain pen, and one large condom. Sorry if that dress sized to fit a small girl is a little . . . uncomfortable on you. Better decide what to do about that One Winged Hippo fast! ]

AUDIENCE

[dramatispersonae]

[ Oh look, the center of the table has become a screen where you can watch what's happening to your teammate. Enjoy the show! ]