dramatispersonae | [ Game 45 ] Peridot

It often comes to that, in games—putting your team above all others. Which means potentially killing or seriously harming other teams.

So the question comes down to protecting these people you live with and call a team, or giving them up for lost because you're not willing to harm others to protect them.

There's a difference between protecting Peridot from somebody attacking us and choosing to hurt innocent people in cold blood! Lelouch, there are kids on some of the teams! Our friends, our family! What about your brother? Could you just kill him out of hand for a game?

We're family.

[points to her tattoo, specifically to the circle on the outside]

Peridot and those outside Peridot.

Just don't forget. We have to live together, after games. We still have to... be there for each other. No one wants to hurt people. No other teams want to hurt us. You don't know the games we play.

I...

I think I'm on the wrong team

[s-s-s-shot through the heart!!]

Why?

[he's looking pretty like that himself right now]

Everybody seems okay with...with hurting people...

It's not okay. We don't feel good when it happens. But you don't know the games. We have to, sometimes. What is... the point of playing if you get hurt and lose? You... think because we would... make a hard choice, we will always make it. That we want to do it. But I don't think you... really know us.

I have a memory. It's a memory of people... lots of people. Probably not... even all the people I can't save. The ones that I... should have been there for. Men and women and kids too. I didn't kill them, but... it's almost the same. I couldn't save them.

You think I want to remember that, every game? Of course not. But Peridot is my family.

[ugh that was exhausting]

[he's just going to start crying a little now]

I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...

[come to my bosom, child]

I think... we have been doing it so long we... are at a... different place in the... conversation. You're at the beginning. We already... had these feelings, I think. They're not wrong. They're good. It... hurts to see you upset about it.

Re: Discuss

unionoftheheart - 2011-06-29 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discuss

silentknight - 2011-06-29 02:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discuss

unionoftheheart - 2011-06-29 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

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silentknight - 2011-06-29 02:57 (UTC) - Expand

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unionoftheheart - 2011-06-29 03:01 (UTC) - Expand

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silentknight - 2011-06-29 03:04 (UTC) - Expand

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unionoftheheart - 2011-06-29 03:11 (UTC) - Expand

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silentknight - 2011-06-29 03:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discuss

unionoftheheart - 2011-06-29 03:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discuss

silentknight - 2011-06-29 03:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discuss

machiavellianiue - 2011-06-29 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

Do not presume to lecture me on things that you do not understand.

I would appreciate it if you altered your tone so as to not be judging us out of hand for refusing to adhere to your apparent policy of utter naive pacifism. You do not and have not experienced the things that we have; you do not know what we would do, other than what little we have said or what you have decided to assume for yourself. Should you actually be interested in having a mature conversation with us, you will be so permitted, as part of Peridot. But if you cannot adopt the necessary attitude and instead choose to lash out with your demands, then perhaps we no longer need to continue this conversation with you.

Now, would you like to ask me a question, or would you prefer to continue aggressively insinuating that Beatrice and I want nothing more than to act destructively and vindictively with no grasp of a moral compass and should therefore be summarily judged and found not worthy?

[pale and very stiff]

I apologize, your majesty, that I am unable to say things as well as you. But I am not going to apologize for who I am. F-for what little I know of who I am. For the fact that the idea of hurting people in cold blood makes me want to throw up. I suppose you think I'm weak and stupid for that. For all I know, maybe we'll finally win some memories back again and I'll become somebody you can respect. But clearly that's not the case right now.

Given that I haven't actually made a demand, I'm going to assume that you already aren't listening to what I'm saying, so there's no point in asking you a question. I don't know what kind of person you are. I do know that Beatrice likes hurting people, and I'm not exactly happy with that, but I've tried to be her friend regardless. For what that's worth.

When did I ever say that I was accepting or encouraging of killing in cold blood? Children on other teams—family on other teams, I know. I don't like it. I would avoid it if at all possible. Could I even agree to harm Rolo? I would dearly hope not to, but what would you do, what would any of us do, forced to choose between the lives of two people we care about? That is the sort of conundrum designed to ruin a man. That aside, it would do you well to cast aside the impression that anyone on any team is innocent—we all sign up to play these games, and as such are implicated. It may not be a war, and it may not be fully voluntary, but neither would I say that anything is "in cold blood."

Neither do I think you are weak for your convictions. I value that sort of feeling very highly—and were it possible, I imagine all of us would like to protect you from having to experience the sort of extremes it takes to push one to the willingness to kill.

You didn't. You just yelled at me instead of saying that it bothered you. Like you didn't care. I had no way of knowing.

I just...can't...nothing I say means anything anyway.

Day, you...!

You don't understand. None of us -- e-except Beatrice, have ever said anything about enjoying any of this! You keep saying that we're fine with hurting others, but what kind of choices do you think we're making? Do you think they're easy?

You've...done it. I don't think I could. T-that's all I...

... If you don't think you could, then-- then if we are forced to, then I'll protect you from those choices. Of course you matter... And your feelings on this matter! Someone as kind as you should never be told to give up on his kindness. But please, there's... a great kindness in these people too. Please don't dismiss them like that. Saying something like that to Ariel was cruel of you!

[that last thing has just stunned him into silence]

... Day... just because the world can be unkind doesn't mean everyone in it is. I know it could seem that way. But-- everyone is trying, I promise. The other teams are trying too. Please listen to them, and... we're listening to you too.

This team is your home. We're... I at least am already very stained, it's true. But I'll do everything I can to protect you and your kindness, if-- you allow it.

Edited 2011-06-29 03:13 (UTC)

Re: Discuss

unionoftheheart - 2011-06-29 03:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discuss

likeawritingdesk - 2011-06-29 03:28 (UTC) - Expand

[. . . deep breath, count to three]

[stepping a little closer, holding one hand out, palm up]

. . . I'm sorry. I was too defensive. I forget, sometimes, that not everyone is equipped to deal with that—generally, I don't particularly care. But I do care about what you think. However, don't you think that it hurts us as well, to have our own feelings or decisions rejected or dismissed so thoroughly, as if repulsive?

We are not criminals. We are perhaps strange, or jaded, or . . . well, Beatrice. But we are also not cruel. And the most important thing to us is to protect each other—not to win. Certainly, we do have different personalities, and different conceptions as to the lengths we would each personally go. But we are also capable of holding ourselves in check for the betterment of the team. Does that make a little more sense to you?

[takes your hand]

I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I can't...

[. . . tugs him closer, very lightly, voice softened now, a totally different tone]

You are just fine the way you are. But will you still accept us the way we are—? I do not mean approve of what we do . . . but understand that there is more to us than that?

[since he's closer, you can probably tell that he's shaking]

I do...I swear I do...even though Beatrice hurt Roxas, she's still...I'm still...I'm sorry...

[. . . unsure about hugs still. putting a hand on Ven's head, lightly, hhhalf drawing him into a hug. still talking very gently]

Apology accepted, under the conditions that you are apologizing for your actions that have hurt others, and not for having the feelings that you do.

In any case, we have delayed long enough, I think. Are you well enough that we can try to come to some sort of answer for the Persona—?