EMERALD

[dramatispersonae]

You're in the Ring by yourselves this time, surrounded by the same columns on all sides--except this time there is no spacing between them whatsoever, and the vines seem thicker.

A statue about four feet tall stands in the middle of the room; it is a woman in a simple tunic carved from white marble, but her head is missing. Although it's clearly a solid statue, it seems that the limbs can be moved and manipulated to imitate other positions.

Next to the statue is a chest (somehow) containing all of the following:

A round shield made of bronze
A boa constrictor (yes, it's alive)
A guitar with strap
A pair of thick horn-rimmed hipster glasses
A fedora
A bonnet
A mohawk
Platform shoes
A lei made of seashells
A belt of knives
A makeup kit
A peacock feather
A gun holster with guns in it
A pink mini-skirt
A clown nose
Fuzzy earmuffs
A pair of Groucho Marx glasses
A butcher's knife
Lipstick
A pair of striped arm-warmers
A pair of striped leg-warmers
A bodice
A cigar
A jeweled sword
Golden armlets
A pearl necklace
A series of shrunken severed heads on a string
A pair of black leather gloves
A cape
A wooden staff
Gold paint
A pair of sandals
A Hawaiian shirt
A big red bow
A spear
A blowtorch
A pair of black high heels
A pair of stick-on fuzzy eyebrows
A bow
A quiver of arrows
A long-stemmed pipe
A simple cloth shoulder-bag
An apron
A pair of fairy wings
A necklace of pure-cut diamonds
A blank journal
A golden crown of laurels, broken in twain
Glass-blown orbs in various colors
Purple nailpolish
A baby doll
A blindfold
A leather jacket
A plain white t-shirt
A simple, unadorned clay pot. ...?

Comments

FIRST TASK

[dramatispersonae]

". . ."

... Your directions are suddenly planted into your mind. They are as follows:

Embellish the statue with the accessories from the wardrobe in order to strengthen its appearance, for however you choose to define that. You may use as many as you like. When you turn-in your finished statue, please include why you consider your choices strengthening.

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

Hmm... [immediately going to fish the cape out of the chest]

Re: DISCUSSION

[existentiallychallenged]

...This is way too much stuff. What's that for?

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

I'm just trying to pick out stuff that seems strengthening to me.

[briefly considers the pipe before dropping it back in :x]

Re: DISCUSSION

[existentiallychallenged]

We're gonna have to explain it...

[picks up GUN HOLSTER!!]

This seems like an obvious choice, right?

TURN IN

[dramatispersonae]

Re: TURN IN

[itsalluseless]

She's got a cape to mark her as a figure of authority, since that's a pretty significant kind of strength. And, uh...I think Whiskey added all the rest?

Re: TURN IN

[existentiallychallenged]

Right, she's a dignified ruler, but she's also a total badass! So she has a leather jacket and high heels under the cape to look cool (and also it's hard to walk and fight in high heels I'm sure so you know she's awesome). She also has hidden guns and knives, so if someone sneaks up past her guards, she isn't just gonna sit there and take that!!

SECOND TASK

[dramatispersonae]

". . . . . ."

... A piece of parchment appears hovering in mid-air. Your directions are planted into your mind as before. They are as follows:

Choose three battles from the following list that you think your statue could feasibly fight in, and list at least one reason why:

A raid
A skirmish
A naval battle
A navel battle
A fashion battle
An aerial battle
A tank battle
A space battle
A toy battle
A cooking battle
A dance-off
A marriage battle
A pet battle
A ranged battle
A stalemate
A scrimmage
A literary battle
A timed battle
A motherfucking walk-off

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

Is there anything on this list our statue couldn't feasibly win? We've already established her as a badass!

Re: DISCUSSION

[existentiallychallenged]

Obviously! We should pick things that suit her best qualities though. Something about leadership... and something about shooting people? And something about being a hot lady!

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

Okay, let's see...I guess we could pick pretty much anything and specify that she's directing others? As for shooting people, ranged battle seems pretty obvious...and then fashion battle, maybe?

Re: DISCUSSION

[existentiallychallenged]

Right, that sounds good...

A naval battle sounds like something you could direct others in. As the captain or something...

TURN IN

[dramatispersonae]

Re: TURN IN

[itsalluseless]

Naval battle
As a strong leader, she'd make a great ship captain, able to direct her crew through battles even on the stormiest of seas! Also, as we've established, she s incredibly cool, which will both moralise her own crew and frighten the enemy!

Ranged battle
Everything above applies here as well if she's leading others, and she's also got her own guns.

Fashion battle
She's a hot lady with a lot of confidence, so anything's going to look great on her.

THIRD TASK

[dramatispersonae]

". . . give her a name." Mr. Right's voice sounds raspy, as though unused for a long period of time.

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

A name, huh...

Re: DISCUSSION

[existentiallychallenged]

...That's harder. What's a cool name?

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

Maybe an English name? But nothing too weird...

TURN IN

[dramatispersonae]

Re: TURN IN

[existentiallychallenged]

We'll call her Mary!

END

[dramatispersonae]

The statue stands straight and lifts both arms to touch where its head should be, and jerks, as if surprised. It reaches for something at its right side, then its left side, but does not seem to find it... it turns to face you, but just as soon you're whisked to endgame...