JASPER

[dramatispersonae]

You're in the Ring by yourselves this time, surrounded by the same columns on all sides--except this time there is no spacing between them whatsoever, and the vines seem thicker.

A statue about four feet tall stands in the middle of the room; it is a woman in a simple tunic carved from white marble, but her head is missing. Although it's clearly a solid statue, it seems that the limbs can be moved and manipulated to imitate other positions.

Next to the statue is a chest (somehow) containing all of the following:

A round shield made of bronze
A boa constrictor (yes, it's alive)
A guitar with strap
A pair of thick horn-rimmed hipster glasses
A fedora
A bonnet
A mohawk
Platform shoes
A lei made of seashells
A belt of knives
A makeup kit
A peacock feather
A gun holster with guns in it
A pink mini-skirt
A clown nose
Fuzzy earmuffs
A pair of Groucho Marx glasses
A butcher's knife
Lipstick
A pair of striped arm-warmers
A pair of striped leg-warmers
A bodice
A cigar
A jeweled sword
Golden armlets
A pearl necklace
A series of shrunken severed heads on a string
A pair of black leather gloves
A cape
A wooden staff
Gold paint
A pair of sandals
A Hawaiian shirt
A big red bow
A spear
A blowtorch
A pair of black high heels
A pair of stick-on fuzzy eyebrows
A bow
A quiver of arrows
A long-stemmed pipe
A simple cloth shoulder-bag
An apron
A pair of fairy wings
A necklace of pure-cut diamonds
A blank journal
A golden crown of laurels, broken in twain
Glass-blown orbs in various colors
Purple nailpolish
A baby doll
A blindfold
A leather jacket
A plain white t-shirt
A simple, unadorned clay pot. ...?

Comments

FIRST TASK

[dramatispersonae]

". . ."

... Your directions are suddenly planted into your mind. They are as follows:

Embellish the statue with the accessories from the wardrobe in order to strengthen its appearance, for however you choose to define that. You may use as many as you like. When you turn-in your finished statue, please include why you consider your choices strengthening.

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[debossy]

Another dress-up game?

Re: DISCUSSION

[mysong]

There's a lot of them...This one has knives though.

Re: DISCUSSION

[debossy]

If she is meant to be strong, there is only one option. We must dress her as a ninja! The knives will come in useful.

Re: DISCUSSION

[ademoelord]

[poking through the chest]

Re: DISCUSSION

[debossy]

Is that a live snake?!

Re: DISCUSSION

[mysong]

We should give her all the weapons!

Re: DISCUSSION

[debossy]

[okay, PULLING OUT THE FOLLOWING:

A belt of knives
A butcher's knife
A jeweled sword
Golden armlets
A pair of black leather gloves
A pair of sandals
A simple cloth shoulder-bag
A blindfold
A leather jacket
A plain white t-shirt

and considering them carefully]

TURN IN

[dramatispersonae]

Re: TURN IN

[debossy]

[okay, once they're done adorning this statue:

she has been crouched into a more creeping ninja-like pose! and is wearing her tunic along with white strips of cloth wrapped around her arms (made by cutting up the t-shirt), the belt of knives, the leather jacket draped around her waist to conceal the knives, the leather gloves, the sandals, the shoulder bag containing the bow and arrows, and the gold armlets. in one hand she has the butcher knife, and in the other she has the blindfold and hipster glasses. . . . there is also a pair of fuzzy earmuffs around her neck, since they can't go on her head.]

[ahem]

This ninja exemplifies skill in both close and ranged combat! Silently she stalks through the night, a mobile arsenal in disguise, the very picture of a traditional Japanese assassin!

[AHHHH, SHE'S SO COOL ////]

. . . Saya would also have you know that she remains warm on cold evenings!

SECOND TASK

[dramatispersonae]

". . . . . ."

... A piece of parchment appears hovering in mid-air. Your directions are planted into your mind as before. They are as follows:

Choose three battles from the following list that you think your statue could feasibly fight in, and list at least one reason why:

A raid
A skirmish
A naval battle
A navel battle
A fashion battle
An aerial battle
A tank battle
A space battle
A toy battle
A cooking battle
A dance-off
A marriage battle
A pet battle
A ranged battle
A stalemate
A scrimmage
A literary battle
A timed battle
A motherfucking walk-off

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[debossy]

What in the--a pet battle? What is this nonsense?!

Re: DISCUSSION

[mysong]

I never heard of a motherfucking walk-off either.

TURN IN

[dramatispersonae]

Re: TURN IN

[debossy]

First, since a ninja is as swift as the midnight wind, our champion would surely prevail in a timed battle!

Second, since she is as well-armed as a one-woman army, she would dominate in a skirmish!

And third! With her powers of stealth, she would slip in undetected in a raid!

[THIS GAME IS SO GREAT.]

THIRD TASK

[dramatispersonae]

". . . give her a name." Mr. Right's voice sounds raspy, as though unused for a long period of time.

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[mysong]

Iron Ninja Fluffy!

Re: DISCUSSION

[debossy]

Is that a name?!

Re: DISCUSSION

[debossy]

. . . A name?

TURN IN

[dramatispersonae]

Re: TURN IN

[mysong]

IRON NINJA FLUFFY!

END

[dramatispersonae]

The statue stands straight and lifts both arms to touch where its head should be, and jerks, as if surprised. It reaches for something at its right side, then its left side, but does not seem to find it... it turns to face you, but just as soon you're whisked to endgame...