". . . . . ."

... A piece of parchment appears hovering in mid-air. Your directions are planted into your mind as before. They are as follows:

Choose three battles from the following list that you think your statue could feasibly fight in, and list at least one reason why:

A raid
A skirmish
A naval battle
A navel battle
A fashion battle
An aerial battle
A tank battle
A space battle
A toy battle
A cooking battle
A dance-off
A marriage battle
A pet battle
A ranged battle
A stalemate
A scrimmage
A literary battle
A timed battle
A motherfucking walk-off