dramatispersonae | Mikado's heart

He likes you guys, but that doesn't mean I have to. Watch it--what you've been doing has consequences.

Way to state the obvious.

You've got no reason to trust us. That's fair.

That's part of why I think it'd be a good idea for you to have more of an idea of what's going on than in here, too, though...

[Glaring at Kazuki as only Kida can, and then snapping back to a vicious, PA smile.]

If you're such a genius why all the fuck ups?

[Turning his more neutral expression on Lloyd.] ....It's not like I'm actually a different person here. I'm just an aspect--I can't change things the way you guys can. I wish I could. It's not like I can't feel what's been going on. [Safety smile.]

[ Snapping back testily! But... yeah, leaving his phone on the couch anyway, if Kida's not taking it. ]

I know that much too, thanks! Talking about wishing things... even something as little as leaving a way for you to talk to other parts of yourself, it's a change that might be good or bad depending on how you handle it, or whatever. It's still up to you.

[popcorn.gif]

[This is great body language.]

So you guys come and change things around, and then expect me to deal with it for you. How irresponsible can you get? Wow, I'm really impressed! Are you getting off to this secretly, or is this a hobby of yours? I mean, wow!

[ ... cannot punch Mikado's heart aspect, cannot punch Mikado's heart aspect, cannot punch Mikado's heart aspect... ]

Think what you want! It doesn't change anything.

[ RAGE QUITTING HERE TOO. ]

Haha that's great, run away.

Shut the fuck up before I really do something I'll regret.

[ Flipping Kida off! But still leaving, sry. ]

[...opens his mouth...

closes his mouth

runs a hand through his hair]

[Flopping back on the couch, no traces of a smile on his face. He picks the cell phone up and flips through Kazuki's text messages, grim and silent.]

[sighs, closing his eyes! sitting up, relaxed on the couch but very much not slumped, hands quiet on his knees.]

There's no reason for you to trust my intentions or my methods. I've watched people do stuff I would've done and stuff I wouldn't have done, and helped do some stuff myself. I stand behind what I do think was right, but I'm not gonna abandon Shark and not take responsibility for helping him fix himself if I was wrong.

He wasn't okay even before we got here, though. I can guess that much.

Edited 2012-12-02 22:27 (UTC)

[Looks at Lloyd over the cell phone. Then sighs and lets his head flop back, staring at the ceiling.]

Don't ask me. Mikado's pretty fucked up without anyone's help, you're right about that much.

[Things Kida might never say in canon.]

I don't know if what you guys are doing is right or wrong but I can feel it pretty strongly. I'm not too happy with any of you. And that guy [Flapping a hand after Kazuki.] You should do something about him. I think he's about to lose it.

Yeah I was mad at him earlier and now I'm just kind of worried??

I don't really get it but Mikado likes him a lot. I guess what I'm saying is... Don't let him screw himself over.

[There's a kind of pensive guilt on his face now.]

[...reaches over and smacks Kida on the head a bit]

I'll do what I can. Don't start feeling guilty, it doesn't help anybody.

What can you tell me about what we've done?

[Rubs his head.]

Hey--! [Staring at Lloyd like what are you even. LLOYD IRVING!!!]

.....

C'mon! If you can feel it, that's more than some of the rest of the heart can! The Shark on the text thing can't get out to come hang out with us or give us more than a few hints, he's got stupid limitations that make no sense! The mirrors to move around only go one way unless you restart everything! None of the heart talks to itself so no one knows what's going on, and I bet Shark can't understand himself or talk about it well either! That poser guy in the basement was talking about it being set up like a game! People're trying to make changes because this is bullshit but we don't know what's going on either, because no one else does! So talk!

What do you want? Me to say that my best friend is crazy? That he's always been crazy? Ever since we were kids? Even I don't know it that well, I mean the real me, I'm just me in his heart that's some kind of--phantom. That's pretty weird to be self-aware of! Mikado sure isn't aware of it half the time, and he was doing okay!

[...Okay no that's a lie.] ...He was at least not--whatever you guys did it feels worse. The girls did some nice things, and somehow none of you died which is good because that'd really fuck him up. But maybe the reason he's now aware of himself a lot is because he doesn't want to be. Maybe he doesn't have to be! Maybe it's fine if he never remembers what he's like and just stays as he was. Is there something wrong with idealizing that?

Yes! Maybe what we did didn't help, or made things worse. I'd believe that in a minute, I've screwed up before! But if you don't learn how to live with yourself, all of yourself, you can't figure out what to do about it! You can't grow and change and move on from the past or take responsibility for what you've done! You just keep putting stuff away someplace secret till something breaks and you don't even remember why you didn't want that to happen any more.

[Gets up, viciously grabs a DVD off the shelf and shoves it in the player.]

[Lloyd experiences this memory.]

Don't talk to me about evolving! That's what Mikado wants too! Things should just stay in the past, where it's safe and no one gets hurt.

[leaving normality...]

The past is the past, but it's not safe! Moving forward without denying it isn't the same thing as moving down.

It's not like he's not okay with that part of himself, you know? I mean, that's what scares me most!

[Frustrated Kida.]

You can be okay with it and still use it to do something else, if he's really sincere about what he says he wants. I believe in his intentions, but you can't let being crazy sneak up on you from behind. That's why I want you to talk to him, be the part that's worried about what might happen...

...do you understand what that guy was saying? About games?

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room

Re: Viewing Room