carnelian

[dramatispersonae]

You find yourself in a beautiful red room, the edges of each wall adorned with real gold accents. At the center of the room is a long table, several chairs on either side of it, perfect for very serious conferences. In the middle of the table is a plate of strawberry jam tarts atop it, one per teammate present.

In the corner of the room is a hole in the ground, only large enough for a small animal to fit through. Next to it is a flat iron bar, curled at its tip, where a golden bell has been hung from it.

Finally, on one wall is a large poster which reads (or you find read aloud to you, if you cannot read):

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again

Comments

inquiries

[dramatispersonae]

[ring bell receive rabbit]

first case

[dramatispersonae]

On the table you find a paper, though it most certainly wasn't there before. It reads, or is read to you:

DEFENDANT: the King's men
DETAILS: When the crime transpired, it was two o'clock, or no-sitting time. Humpty Dumpty's bodyguard should have prevented the fall, but being a knight of the king also, he was obligated to follow the law and decided to avoid the wall. However, his negligence nearly resulted in Humpty Dumpty's death, and he has therefore also failed his duty as Humpty Dumpty's bodyguard, as well as the King's orders.
PROPOSED SENTENCE: Execution

verdict

[dramatispersonae]

[a gold-trimmed envelope, letter-writing paper, and a red ink pen on the table has been provided for you. the back of the envelope reads FIRST VERDICT.

you understand the letter must be sealed and left on the table when you finish writing your answer, but you can always open it again later. the resealing would just be noticeable.]

Re: first case

[thankyouverymooch]

Are we supposed to put up a defense for this guy?

[crusthatecean]

Obviously? I mean, come on, this is bullshit.

Re: first case

[antreegonist]

We pick what the crime was, what the punishment should be, and why...? Jeez.

[thankyouverymooch]

Mmmh... I'm not sure how to go about this. To be honest, I don't care that much.

But since our victory depends on this...

Re: first case

[thankyouverymooch]

Is this Humpty Dumpty guy supposed to be royalty?

[crusthatecean]

You don't care that they're going to put this asshole to death for what amounts to the crime of not using common sense when faced with conflicting laws?

I mean, sure, it should have been obvious saving someone's life was more important than obeying some wall law, but execution?

Re: first case

[antreegonist]

D'you think that'd have a bearing on the answer?

[thankyouverymooch]

We can't be sure someone's going to die for real. For all we know this is nothing but storytime.

Even if it weren't, this is our business just because of the game.

Re: first case

[thankyouverymooch]

I'm asking out of personal curiousity. If they bothered to give him a bodyguard, he must have been pretty important.

Re: first case

[antreegonist]

We can ask, then. Whether he was or not, execution's not the answer anyway; this thing's just a mess.

[crusthatecean]

Okay, well, let me put on the record my reluctance to trifle when it comes to potentially condemning someone to death.

We have to give a punishment, but can't it be, I don't know, stripping him of rank and instituting a mandatory common sense exam for bodyguards?

[crusthatecean]

So can we mutually agree that this exercise is retarded and anything approaching execution can now be forever ruled out?

[thankyouverymooch]

[ laughing ]

Good one. I'd like to push for the exam especially.

Although, if we're talking in all seriousness... isn't this a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation? If he'd saved Humpty Dumpty, he would be here facing the same sentence for breaking the law. I'm fairly certain of it.

The King might be the one who needs that exam.

[antreegonist]

*i like you, gosh*

Yyyeah I think that's one pretty solid conclusion we can agree on.

Re: first case

[thankyouverymooch]

It doesn't make much sense. Even if he failed his duty as a bodyguard, retainers aren't just tools to discard once they fail.

But as things are right now, I don't think we have enough details yet. We should make a list of things we want to ask.

[crusthatecean]

I wouldn't be surprised. Are we allowed to put the king on trial, or will we be put up for execution.

[crusthatecean]

Good. That still leaves us with having to decide what to do with this idiot.

[thankyouverymooch]

No one said anything against putting the king on trial.

Re: first case

[fighting_alena]

Wait, this doesn't make sense...

[crusthatecean]

Judging from what I've seen so far, there is bound to be a law against it.

But you shouldn't be able to charge someone just because the laws conflict.

[antreegonist]

Ugh, maybe everyone involved should be made to take a common sense exam.

Re: inquiries

[fighting_alena]

[rings bell!]

What does it mean where it says: "being a knight of the king also, he was obligated to follow the law and decided to avoid the wall."? What law was keeping him away from the wall?