Game 52: Iolite

[dramatispersonae]

[ You're in the middle of an empty field, save for your team and a table large enough to seat everyone. On the table are pen and paper, as well as a small black box. The box itself has an area covered with wire mesh and a large red button on it labeled "Record". As you settle in, a voice seems to come out of nowhere: ]

Today, we're here to test your wilderness survival skills. Are you ready?

(OOC: Each situation is both read aloud and can be found written on a piece of paper on the table. Answers can be written or spoken into the recorder.)

Comments

SITUATION ONE

[dramatispersonae]

A normal human male who has not jerked off in two weeks, but is looking quite fetching in his kilt, sports shoes, and sweater, has just been spotted by a pack of werecamels. They begin circling around her, looking very hungry. If you were this completely normal human, how would you escape from the werecamels intact?

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[mylittlecavallone]

[ l-lol what ]

Re: DISCUSS

[dormancy]

. . .

Re: DISCUSS

[fallinflames]

W-what?

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[playfreebird]

This person is not in danger, because he doesn't exist. Even allowing for the change of gender being a mistake, there is no normal human male who wears those clothes and has not "jerked off" in two weeks.

SITUATION TWO

[dramatispersonae]

As a young, fully human girl skips through the woods, she hears something ominous above her. She is equipped with a jumping rope, a snuggie, a fountain pen, and one large condom. Plan a way for her to escape from the One Winged Hippo alive.

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[dormancy]

Ah, a rendezvous?

Re: DISCUSS

[mylittlecavallone]

... I'm beginning to think he's really got sex on his mind.

Re: DIS

[playfreebird]

[okay, got nothing for this one]

Re: DISCUSS

[fallinflames]

... What's a condom?

Re: DISCUSS

[sticksofthejedi]

She could snap the condom at its eyes to get it to flinch, and take advantage of the confusion to tangle it up in the snuggie and jumping rope.

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[sticksofthejedi]

The fully normal girl is going to pick up some pebbles and use her condom to slingshot them at the hippo's eyes, blinding it. Then, throw the blanket over it's wing to tangle it and keep it grounded. Finally, she'll tie the jumping rope between trees as a trip line. With the hippo unable to see or fly, it can't avoid the line, and the girl will make her escape.

SITUATION THREE

[dramatispersonae]

An older human male wanders too close to the pitcher roses. They begin strangling him and pulling him closer to the "petals", which are actually tongues surrounding a central spiral of teeth. The older man has chewing gum, two melons, one lilac dress, fishnet stockings, and black stiletto heels with him. How can he escape with at least 90% of his body intact?

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

PICK YOUR CHAMPION

[dramatispersonae]

Team, please choose one of your members to represent you in the final challenge of this game.

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

FINAL CHALLENGE

[dramatispersonae]

CHALLENGER

[dramatispersonae]

[ Jaina is now alone in the field and looking quite fetching in a kilt, sports shoes, and sweater. No comment on how long it's been since you've jerked off . . . but more importantly, you've just been spotted by a pack of werecamels. They begin circling around you, looking very hungry. ]

AUDIENCE

[dramatispersonae]

[ Oh look, the center of the table has become a screen where you can watch what's happening to your teammate. Enjoy the show! ]