Game 52: Turquoise

[dramatispersonae]

[ You're in the middle of an empty field, save for your team and a table large enough to seat everyone. On the table are pen and paper, as well as a small black box. The box itself has an area covered with wire mesh and a large red button on it labeled "Record". As you settle in, a voice seems to come out of nowhere: ]

Today, we're here to test your wilderness survival skills. Are you ready?

(OOC: Each situation is both read aloud and can be found written on a piece of paper on the table. Answers can be written or spoken into the recorder.)

Comments

SITUATION ONE

[dramatispersonae]

A normal human male who has not jerked off in two weeks, but is looking quite fetching in his kilt, sports shoes, and sweater, has just been spotted by a pack of werecamels. They begin circling around her, looking very hungry. If you were this completely normal human, how would you escape from the werecamels intact?

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[autorejoin]

....Considering the "hasn't jerked off" detail, I can't help but think the answer is supposed to involve having sex with the werecamels.

Re: DISCUSS

[brociopath]

I'd leave the barely-mentioned girl there and let the werecamels enjoy her while I escape, I guess?

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[brociopath]

We, a normal human male, would abandon our barely-mentioned female companion to the were-camels who are surrounding her, and escape while they are distracted. Then, depending on said normal human male's personality and degree of sexual frustration, he can either enjoy the show or not, I suppose.

SITUATION TWO

[dramatispersonae]

As a young, fully human girl skips through the woods, she hears something ominous above her. She is equipped with a jumping rope, a snuggie, a fountain pen, and one large condom. Plan a way for her to escape from the One Winged Hippo alive.

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[sharksong]

These situations . . .

Re: DISCUSS

[intheblueblazes]

... So we just come up with something ridiculous?

Re: DISCUSS

[standbyrival]

. . .can't she just run?

Re: DISCUSS

[brociopath]

....no strange switch in this one.

Re: DISCUSS

[autorejoin]

I get the feeling the Persona coming up with these situations needs to get laid.

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[intheblueblazes]

Throw the blanket in its face, and when it crashes, pull the condom over its head to suffocate it, and crawl up on its back to tangle the rope up in its wings and stab the wings with a pen! Then run like hell!

SITUATION THREE

[dramatispersonae]

An older human male wanders too close to the pitcher roses. They begin strangling him and pulling him closer to the "petals", which are actually tongues surrounding a central spiral of teeth. The older man has chewing gum, two melons, one lilac dress, fishnet stockings, and black stiletto heels with him. How can he escape with at least 90% of his body intact?

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSS

[sharksong]

. . . Shove everything in it's mouth and choke it to death?

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

PICK YOUR CHAMPION

[dramatispersonae]

Team, please choose one of your members to represent you in the final challenge of this game.

DISCUSS

[dramatispersonae]

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

FINAL CHALLENGE

[dramatispersonae]

CHALLENGER

[dramatispersonae]

[ Kaji is now alone in the woods and hears something ominous from above. Just like the little girl from the question, he is now equipped with a jumping rope, a snuggie, a fountain pen, and one large condom. Sorry if that dress sized to fit a small girl is a little . . . uncomfortable on you. Better decide what to do about that One Winged Hippo fast! ]

AUDIENCE

[dramatispersonae]

[ Oh look, the center of the table has become a screen where you can watch what's happening to your teammate. Enjoy the show! ]