dramatispersonae

Kunzite

[ You’re in a corporate boardroom… of sorts. There’s no door and the walls are all glass, open to a clear blue sky, but if you look out the glass and down, there’s nothing but a layer of fluffy white clouds. If you look up, nothing but sky and sun. The room is dominated by an odd table that hasn’t decided what shape it wants to be – there’s a square corner on one end, but the rest of it is wavy and ellipsoid. The chairs are swiveling leather office chairs, quite comfortable and quite ordinary. The tea service and digestives have come along as well.

In the middle of the table are three typewriters with paper primed and ready to go, the mailbox, and a typewritten note.

Dear Ibis:

We’ve gotten some very good submissions so far, but not enough to go to print! Talk amongst yourselves and write a letter asking for help solving a problem that you face, as a team or as individuals. And don’t be afraid to send in more than one. We’re such a popular feature!

- M

]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... I vote we just make up something outrageous.

Mm! Alright!

It'll be sure to grab more attention and it'll be funny to see how people respond!

What should we do, though...

Now there's the question. What would really shock people...

How about ... a scandal of some kind?

What, what, like a romantic scandal?!

Uhm... a romantic scandal about Shes!

I don't know a lot about romantic scandals, though.

This place has tons of romantic scandal! ... But that also means we're going to have to go all out to turn some heads...

Is there anything Shes has done recently that would give us something to write about...? We could always exaggerate once we have a base to work off of. It would be better if we had some truth in there, too.

What has he been up to lately...

Well, he dumped a snowball on my face this morning like a jerk.

...

Maybe ... he thinks that throwing a snowball is the good way to flirt?

"Dear Aather,

I have a problem. For some reason, whenever I try to flirt, it doesn't seem to work out. Is there something wrong with throwing a snowball in someone's face? I've also done ..."

And we could put other things in.

...

I don't want the person to be me, though.

It's... someone else! That model that Peach was talking about!

Oh yes, our super mystery man...

Oh! I like that! Something really great!

As out there as we can get!

Let's spread a rumor about Shes!

[omg... c-cracking up]

I did tell him I'd get him back for something earlier today! This is justice!!

It's the perfect chance after all! I like Meringue's suggestion of a romantic scandal!

Though what kind of scandal would be good here... Maybe an unrequited pining!

An unrequired pining for a model who's way prettier than he is, and he's feeling ashamed because he's just not worthy of him.

[ l o l ]

Truly tragic! Ah, but just that's pretty normal, now I think we all sorts of complications to make things even more interesting...

He's trying to sleep with the people the model is in love with so he can separate them.

Yes, it's perfect! —Aah, but maybe that's where someone else gets involved too, like an overprotective teammate or sibling hears about his plan and is out for revenge—! Or something.

Yes! Snowc-- the reliable captain of the team hears about the evil plan and tries to talk Shes down civily! He made it clear he's very upset by this and he won't let him play with pets anymore if he keeps it up!

And then it's a question of what action he should take...!

Yes! Is his lust for the model stronger than his love for pets?!

[Kunzite you are my most favorite team and I'm gonna be over here cracking up.]

[ submissions go here with your team name in the subject of the comment ]

[ One of the typewriters begins typing on its own, eventually printing out:

Excellent, excellent, this is enough material to keep us going for quite some time. Now, get to work answering the letters!

The mailbox makes a coughing noise, and up comes a… large newspaper. Each column starts with one of these letters. The space below each letter is blank… for now.

The typewriter keeps going:

Just stick your letter in the mailbox – “Dear So-and-So” – and it will find its way into print. Oh, but we don’t want to give bad advice. If you see someone giving advice you disagree with, feel free to correct them. Remember, you get paid by the word… no, paid by the letter… no, brevity can be the soul of wit… no, rewarded based on productivity… aha! Giving a good answer or many good answers will help you win! But the newspaper business can be about entertainment, so there’ll be a reward for pleasing your peers as well. Yes, those are good criteria.

Now, get to work.

- M

Yes. It’s a magical newspaper that will update in Aather-realtime with the contents of the linked DP post, so your characters can snipe at other letter writers and call their advice terrible.

Use this thread for discussion and this post for submissions. ]

[glances at "Concerned Lover"]

[glances at Kise]

[and then reads over "Sexy Boy"]

[LOOKING AT KISE AGAIN...]

[...

trying really hard to not laugh at kise]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Kunzite

ROUND ONE

DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

Re: DISCUSSION

SUBMISSIONS

ROUND TWO

Re: ROUND TWO

Re: ROUND TWO

Re: ROUND TWO