HELIODOR

[dramatispersonae]

You find yourself in an unassuming room. It's spacious, though it's fairly empty except for the furniture in the center. There, a collection of chairs are gathered around a large table. ...Or, at least, they're chair- and table-like things. The chairs are made all of one piece, of an unidentifiable plasticky substance, and they're fairly uncomfortable. The table is made of the same substance, and is just a round platform on a pedestal.

On the table, however, are pens and paper, and in the center of the table there's an opaque cloud, spinning slowly in swirls of mist.

Instructions come both as a voice and as words in the mist, and you instinctively know you can answer either by speaking back or by writing down your answer and throwing it into the cloud.

Comments

PART 1

[dramatispersonae]

Please choose a number between 1 and 100.

No answer is more correct than any other answer.

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[ironicusername]

[glancing at Jason, expectant]

Re: DISCUSSION

[uneulogized]

Two.

Re: DISCUSSION

[ironicusername]

Alright.

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[uneulogized]

Two.

RESULT

[dramatispersonae]

Re: RESULT

[dramatispersonae]

Your number appears in the clouds for a second, then vanishes as another number appears, counting quickly up to 366.6.

PART 2

[dramatispersonae]

Please specify one small action that at least one person on your team would like to do. It should be simple, generic, possible, and take no more than 3-5 words to describe. For example: "eat a cookie", "pick a flower", "jump off a cliff"

No answer is more correct than any other answer.

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[uneulogized]

[...]

I want to have sex.

I mean, that counts, right?

Re: DISCUSSION

[ironicusername]

[facepalm]

It is an action. You want to. And it's five words. It seems to meet all the base criteria.

Re: DISCUSSION

[uneulogized]

Let's go for it, just because Rider isn't here and we'll be able to let it pass.

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[uneulogized]

I want to have sex.

PART 3

[dramatispersonae]

Please describe an event—something you experienced together, something one of you experienced alone, or even something entirely fictional.

No answer is more correct than any other answer, but details may be to your advantage later.

((OOC: All teams need to be finished with this part before anyone can move on to part 4—which is the final and most important part—so please try to be as expeditious as possible! Aim for a story around 100-300 words.))

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[uneulogized]

I dunno. You come up with something, Dirk.

Re: DISCUSSION

[ironicusername]

Ok. Something we experienced together.


I remember after I had been here for a week or so and I was still cagey as hell, I could barely stand to be around anyone except you and Apollo. You hit on me and I felt like a normal goddam teenager, hella dokis up in my kokoro, and when you kissed me you were so cool about it and so gentle and supportive I didn’t feel like such a burned out freak. And this behavior carried on so consistently over a long enough period of time that I became incapable of taking your occasional bouts of assholish behavior at face value, despite your adamant refusal to recognize your rampant douchebagging as a primitive defense mechanism.

Re: DISCUSSION

[uneulogized]

That isn't a story.

Re: DISCUSSION

[ironicusername]

How's this for a fucking story: Once upon a time you held me down and fucked me in the basement of our home and made me feel like you cared about me and then you fucking bounced me after a predictable fumbling moment of virgin insecurity which you internalized as being about you because of your enormous obsession with your perceived failures. And because these inevitably result in your actual failures you made me feel like shit and like everything I'm terrified of being and I didn't even get a motherfucking apology or a goddam hug.

The end, until next time.

Re: DISCUSSION

[uneulogized]

I'll write the fucking story.

Re: DISCUSSION

[ironicusername]

Fine.

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[uneulogized]

Once upon a time, there was a guy who grew up alone without any human interaction, so he decided he wanted to bang horses. All of his rudimentary research told him that was kind of fucking weird, but he didn't give a damn. He confirmed his horse desire after having some human sex, and decided all he wanted was for a horse to ride him. After all, if a horse was going to do that, it'd already accept that he was messed up because he assumed that no one else would accept he was messed up. One day, he came across a horse interested in that, but first, they had to save the fucking world. Well, he wasn't that interested in that, actually, but he figured he'd do it to have his horse friend's dick.

So, he did.

And sex they had.

And somewhere in the back of his mind, he hopefully learned not to piss off his ex-boyfriend in stupid pointless fucking games.

PART 4

[dramatispersonae]

Please describe how the event you detailed in the previous section would have occurred if someone had unexpectedly won some noodles.

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[uneulogized]

No, wait, I got this.

ANSWER

[dramatispersonae]

Re: ANSWER

[uneulogized]

Once upon a time, there was a guy who grew up alone without any human interaction, so he decided he wanted to bang horses. All of his rudimentary research told him that was kind of fucking weird, but he didn't give a damn. He confirmed his horse desire after having some human sex, and decided all he wanted was for a horse to ride him. After all, if a horse was going to do that, it'd already accept that he was messed up because he assumed that no one else would accept he was messed up. One day, he came across a horse interested in that, but first, they had to save the fucking world. Well, he wasn't that interested in that, actually, but he figured he'd do it to have his horse friend's dick.

Only the reward for saving the world wasn't sex, but noodles. Unexpectedly.

Here's the thing about our "hero," he's a neurotic asshole willing to see the worst in everything, so he'd see the noodles as some sign that he's inefficient or insufficient or that the horse never liked him in the first place for lying to him about the noodles instead of hot, sweaty horse sex. Why couldn't he just tell him the truth? Was it something he did? Did the horse not find him attractive in the first place? Did he think he didn't have it in him to save the world? He knows he didn't, but he did want horse sex.

So, in the end, no sex was had, and he withered away without even eating the fucking noodles.

RESULT

[dramatispersonae]

You submit your answer, and then see a different scene play out in the mist...

When it's done, you exit to endgame.