dramatispersonae

Emerald

[ You are sitting in small, dark room with earthen walls, and no window or doors – but it’s filled with apples. There’s a fireplace embedded in one wall, with a cheerfully roaring fire. The dirt floor is covered in a plush Persian carpet and an array of cushions, and in front of the fire is a low table. On the table is a pencil with an eraser, twenty red slips of paper, five green slips of paper, and one rolled up scroll. Unrolled, it reads:

Let’s keep this one easy for everyone.

Write one noun on every red slip of paper (that’s a person, place, or thing, like “Aather” or “Cheshire” or “cat”). Write one adjective (that describes a noun, like “clever”) on every green slip of paper – oh, and rank them, so I know which ones are your favorites. Toss them all into the fire when you’re finished.

You’re forbidden to use team names.

The note is signed with an inky pawprint. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And I think it's fairly obvious we have to go with Scandalous Surprise.

Of course.

...We've already used both witch and butler, so the only thing that could have teeth in the first place is the mackerel. Unless we go with something more metaphorical...