TURQUOISE

[dramatispersonae]

[You are standing in an amphitheatre constructed of off-white marble with several rows of seats surrounding you on all sides; in the performance space at the bottom is another banquet table, with fourteen different crowns placed upon it. They are, in no particular order:

A jeweled tiara lined with diamonds
A crown of wheat
A faded kokoshnik
A coronet with its jewels missing
A gold diadem
A civic crown made out of oak leaves
A mural crown
A naval crown missing a sail
A hoop crown missing the top insignia
A crown of thorns
A striped nemes
A crown of dandelions
A plain modius
A coronation crown with beading on the side falling off]

Comments

PART ONE

[dramatispersonae]

[Mr. Right's voice echoes quietly off the amphitheatre walls, sounding closer than normal.]

Ladies and jellybeans, it's my pleasure to inform you that you've all been chosen as potential heirs to the throne of your own little kingdom. Isn't that something? Ah, but there's only room for one at the top, so you'll have to make sure you impress me enough to earn that title. We'll find out later on how much potential is really in you. Now I know most of you don't got experience with this sort of thing, so I'll guide you through the process. Think hard about what kinda ruler you'd like to be. King, queen, prince, princess, duke, duchess, marquis, marquise--pick whichever title suits you. I'm fond of "emperor" myself. Regardless, every monarch's gotta have a mark of their autonomy, so your first task is to pick a crown--any crown. Make sure it's one you can hold onto, though--once it's on your head, it won't be easy to keep it. And if you do, make sure you're prepared to carry its weight.

((Each team member present picks a crown from the pile to wear; one team member per crown, please. ONCE YOUR CHARACTER HAS DECIDED ON A CROWN, IT WILL NOT COME OFF. If you arrive past part one, make sure whatever crown you choose is not one that's already been chosen by your teammates.))

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[medpacksapunch]

...What if we don't want to rule...?

Re: DISCUSSION

[screwthatnoise]

This is only a game.

Re: DISCUSSION

[edgeofjustice]

Little fancy for me...

Re: DISCUSSION

[medpacksapunch]

[...why is it always you and me and Echo.]

Re: DISCUSSION

[screwthatnoise]

You do not like this set-up either?

Re: DISCUSSION

[screwthatnoise]

We are to pretend to be royalty. Interesting.

[examining the crowns, giving the nemes a long look when her eyes catch it]

Re: DISCUSSION

[deathandtaxes]

[well this is a fuckton of bad pings.]

Really....

DECISION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DECISION

[medpacksapunch]

[Wheat crown]

Re: DECISION

[screwthatnoise]

[diadem!]

Re: DECISION

[deathandtaxes]

[civic crown]

Re: DECISION

[edgeofjustice]

[dandelion crown]

PART TWO

[dramatispersonae]

[Mr. Right's voice comes echoing through again, sounding amused]

Ain't you all looking fancy. But good looks and a winning smile aren't enough--trust me, I know. Question is, do you think you deserve that kind of title? Regal-looking or not, you've got to walk the walk and talk the talk. And a ruler's just a nobody if they can't reach deep into the hearts of their subjects. What makes you so special? You got to think about what being a leader really means to you, and how you'd handle it in particular. The first thing every ruler needs to address is what kinda rules they're laying down. So here's your second task: figure out how you'd pluck the heartstrings of your vassals--in this case, your teammates--and play me a sweet tune.

Sounds pretty open-ended, right? Well, like everything in life, there's a catch: those crowns aren't just shiny little decorations. They've been worn before, and inherited certain... traits from all those past generations. And there's one piece of advice all those old dead guys can agree on: if you want to avoid being usurped, you'd better live up to your predecessors.

[If you chose the jeweled tiara, your trait is: HATEFUL.
If you chose the crown of wheat, your trait is: SORROWFUL.
If you chose the kokoshnik, your trait is: LYING.
If you chose the coronet, your trait is: CHARISMATIC.
If you chose the diadem, your trait is: PESSIMISTIC.
If you chose the civic crown, your trait is: OPTIMISTIC.
If you chose the mural crown, your trait is: BRAVE.
If you chose the naval crown, your trait is: MOURNFUL.
If you chose the hoop crown, your trait is: FLIRTATIOUS.
If you chose the crown of thorns, your trait is: RECKLESS.
If you chose the nemes, your trait is: ANXIOUS.
If you chose the crown of dandelions, your trait is: WHIMSICAL.
If you chose the modius, your trait is: SERIOUS.
If you chose the coronation crown, your trait is: IGNORANT.

((The second task is a speech! Your character must perform as a monarch giving orders with the trait listed to their chosen crown. Their purpose is to address rules and regulations with your teammates as your subjects, but feel free to interpret this however you like! You can go full-on monologue or soliloquy, or do a simple list, or whatever. Be ~creative~! If you arrive late, please specify which crown you're wearing in your comment.))

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[medpacksapunch]

Oh...

Re: DISCUSSION

[edgeofjustice]

Whimsical, huh.

Re: DISCUSSION

[deathandtaxes]

...I wonder if optimistic lawmaking would be trusting everyone to get along without laws.

SPEECHES

[dramatispersonae]

Re: SPEECHES

[screwthatnoise]

There is no grandiose introduction. No point wasting my time when you subjects have nothing to look forward to. Echo will kindly refrain from giving anyone hope. The rules are simple:

1) Criminals will be tried in court and punished if appropriate.
Only if we can capture them. We probably won't. My apologies for the potentially unstable crime rate.

2) Pay your taxes.
...ah. On second thought, Echo does not think anyone will bother to pay them. Cruel. My subjects are too worthless.

3) Do not demand anything too extravagant, such as new buildings and clean water.
It's impossible because nobody's paying taxes. Even if anyone paid them, nobody deserves such luxuries.

...

4) We do not deserve anything.
This should go without saying.

5) Prepare to lose every battle.
Not a single one of you can afford to set your hopes too high. After all, Echo's subjects are no good. Hopeless. Failures. Echo doubts you will ever accomplish anything. Echo imagines that everyone will die in a horrible attack. In other words, please prepare tombstones and coffins ahead of time so that nobody is overwhelmed when any inevitable disaster occurs.

At this point Echo stopped creating rules after realizing that there will be nothing left of us in the near future.

In conclusion, nothing is worth trying for. We are not going to make it. Don't bother trying. It will be futile.

Re: SPEECHES

[edgeofjustice]

Let's see...

Taxes? I don't really care about taxes. I'm the ruler, so I've got plenty of money. So instead, just pay me in parfaits. Parfaits, cake, and really spicy curry.

Criminals will eat cake until they're too fat to bother anybody. Have you ever heard of a fat pickpocket? I haven't.

Anyone who wants a trial will have to fight me. If they win, then they're free. If they lose, well it's cake for them.

Every third day at noon all subjects must switch shirts with whoever's physically closest to them. So don't where your favorite shirt then.

You know, I think that cover's it.

Re: SPEECHES

[medpacksapunch]

Mm... Everyone-- I'm...I'm so sorry to have to come before you like this, but...

But the truth is, we need new laws. The way things are now... you must have noticed, but it isn't working out. We can't keep running our country this way. I had hoped-- we could all work together, to make this country somewhere that everyone could live, but-- I see now that that isn't possible. Not like this.

In the case of committing crimes or not paying taxes, I'm afraid from now on things like that will get you thrown in jail. If that doesn't work, then we'll exile you -- and don't forget that as someone exiled from their home country, you'll be nothing more than a stray dog that others hunt down for sport of money. I didn't want it to come to this. I thought-- if left alone, everyone will do the right thing, wont they?

...I'm-- I should have known it never could have worked out that way...

Re: SPEECHES

[deathandtaxes]

I have good news for you all! Our efforts have not been in vain, and relations with neighboring countries have improved significantly and are only looking up. On the other hand, drought has struck and a hefty chunk of this coming season's sunflower crops have been all but wiped out. I'm sure we all know these are an important export, and may come between us and peace with those to the north, but for now I would like to focus on keeping most of our attentions inwards. That said, the laws have been updated thus:

Taxes must be raised. This will be a temporary measure, but the assistance will be needed to defend our north border more solidly. Hopefully we won't need it, since diplomacy will be pushed even more firmly. Criminals will be put to work fortifying that border, depending on the weight of their wrongdoing. There will also be stations nationwide for the assembly of packages to aid those whose livelihoods are being heavily effected by this drought. I trust the citizens of this nation will gladly volunteer for this noble work.

I know things are difficult right now, but we'll pull through. We must persevere.

PART THREE...?

[dramatispersonae]

[Mr. Right's voice can be heard, low and reverberating as though coming from inside your own chest--but he only laughs... and then, abruptly, the crowns you are all wearing trigger an effect.

If you are wearing the tiara or the crown of wheat, you are suddenly overcome with the urge to cry.
If you are wearing the kokoshnik or the coronet, you lose your voice completely.
If you are wearing the diadem or the civic crown, you are suddenly overcome with lust.
If you are wearing the mural crown or the naval crown, you suddenly feel incredibly clingy or in need of physical affection.
If you are wearing the hoop crown or the crown of thorns, you suddenly recall your worst memory and are unable to put it out of your mind.
If you are wearing the nemes or the crown of dandelions, you are suddenly overcome with violent urges.
If you are wearing the modius or the coronation crown, you are suddenly overcome with the urge to scream.

Mr. Right speaks, sounding darkly amused.]

I told you, didn't I? A crown's a weighty thing. Too bad--guess I'll have to keep looking for someone better.

[With a sudden jerk, you are brought back to the Ring.]