EMERALD

[dramatispersonae]

[You are standing in an amphitheatre constructed of off-white marble with several rows of seats surrounding you on all sides; in the performance space at the bottom is another banquet table, with fourteen different crowns placed upon it. They are, in no particular order:

A jeweled tiara lined with diamonds
A crown of wheat
A faded kokoshnik
A coronet with its jewels missing
A gold diadem
A civic crown made out of oak leaves
A mural crown
A naval crown missing a sail
A hoop crown missing the top insignia
A crown of thorns
A striped nemes
A crown of dandelions
A plain modius
A coronation crown with beading on the side falling off]

Comments

PART ONE

[dramatispersonae]

[Mr. Right's voice echoes quietly off the amphitheatre walls, sounding closer than normal.]

Ladies and jellybeans, it's my pleasure to inform you that you've all been chosen as potential heirs to the throne of your own little kingdom. Isn't that something? Ah, but there's only room for one at the top, so you'll have to make sure you impress me enough to earn that title. We'll find out later on how much potential is really in you. Now I know most of you don't got experience with this sort of thing, so I'll guide you through the process. Think hard about what kinda ruler you'd like to be. King, queen, prince, princess, duke, duchess, marquis, marquise--pick whichever title suits you. I'm fond of "emperor" myself. Regardless, every monarch's gotta have a mark of their autonomy, so your first task is to pick a crown--any crown. Make sure it's one you can hold onto, though--once it's on your head, it won't be easy to keep it. And if you do, make sure you're prepared to carry its weight.

((Each team member present picks a crown from the pile to wear; one team member per crown, please. ONCE YOUR CHARACTER HAS DECIDED ON A CROWN, IT WILL NOT COME OFF. If you arrive past part one, make sure whatever crown you choose is not one that's already been chosen by your teammates.))

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[soundandfury]

[siiiiiiighs]

What a waste of time...

Re: DISCUSSION

[existentiallychallenged]

Whoa, we're royalty now?

Re: DISCUSSION

[fraternalorders]

[...really?]

Re: DISCUSSION

[deadofknight]

[looking over the table]

This is a lot of crowns.

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

All right then...

[looking over those crowns]

DECISION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DECISION

[deadofknight]

Mural crown for Ace. o/

Re: DECISION

[existentiallychallenged]

[has a CORONET]

Re: DECISION

[itsalluseless]

[dandelion crown hell yeah]

Re: DECISION

[soundandfury]

[civic crown '-']

Re: DECISION

[fraternalorders]

[crown of wheat]

PART TWO

[dramatispersonae]

[Mr. Right's voice comes echoing through again, sounding amused]

Ain't you all looking fancy. But good looks and a winning smile aren't enough--trust me, I know. Question is, do you think you deserve that kind of title? Regal-looking or not, you've got to walk the walk and talk the talk. And a ruler's just a nobody if they can't reach deep into the hearts of their subjects. What makes you so special? You got to think about what being a leader really means to you, and how you'd handle it in particular. The first thing every ruler needs to address is what kinda rules they're laying down. So here's your second task: figure out how you'd pluck the heartstrings of your vassals--in this case, your teammates--and play me a sweet tune.

Sounds pretty open-ended, right? Well, like everything in life, there's a catch: those crowns aren't just shiny little decorations. They've been worn before, and inherited certain... traits from all those past generations. And there's one piece of advice all those old dead guys can agree on: if you want to avoid being usurped, you'd better live up to your predecessors.

[If you chose the jeweled tiara, your trait is: HATEFUL.
If you chose the crown of wheat, your trait is: SORROWFUL.
If you chose the kokoshnik, your trait is: LYING.
If you chose the coronet, your trait is: CHARISMATIC.
If you chose the diadem, your trait is: PESSIMISTIC.
If you chose the civic crown, your trait is: OPTIMISTIC.
If you chose the mural crown, your trait is: BRAVE.
If you chose the naval crown, your trait is: MOURNFUL.
If you chose the hoop crown, your trait is: FLIRTATIOUS.
If you chose the crown of thorns, your trait is: RECKLESS.
If you chose the nemes, your trait is: ANXIOUS.
If you chose the crown of dandelions, your trait is: WHIMSICAL.
If you chose the modius, your trait is: SERIOUS.
If you chose the coronation crown, your trait is: IGNORANT.

((The second task is a speech! Your character must perform as a monarch giving orders with the trait listed to their chosen crown. Their purpose is to address rules and regulations with your teammates as your subjects, but feel free to interpret this however you like! You can go full-on monologue or soliloquy, or do a simple list, or whatever. Be ~creative~! If you arrive late, please specify which crown you're wearing in your comment.))

DISCUSSION

[dramatispersonae]

Re: DISCUSSION

[soundandfury]

['-']



[I have to be what]

Re: DISCUSSION

[deadofknight]

Brave, huh...

Re: DISCUSSION

[existentiallychallenged]

I'm totally charismatic.

Re: DISCUSSION

[itsalluseless]

[well this should be fun]

Re: DISCUSSION

[fraternalorders]

...

SPEECHES

[dramatispersonae]

Re: SPEECHES

[deadofknight]

Well, to be honest I don't think I should really be giving teams instructions since I'm a knight, so everyone pretend to be part of Sterling for a few minutes, okay?

Re: SPEECHES

[existentiallychallenged]

...Okay, so. Hey there, ladies and gentlemen. Nice to see you all here. I'd just like to lay down a few ground rules before we continue with our daily lives, all right? A king's gotta do what a king's gotta do sometimes.

First of all, I am sick of unemployment. You guys are probably sick of it too, huh? Nobody likes sitting around without anything to do. So I thought, since I happen to be able to do whatever I want, I'd just make it so everyone's occupied! So if nobody'll hire you, come talk to me! I'll hook you up personally. That's an order! Want to do my laundry? By all means! Serve as a butler? Yes please! It's okay, I'm very clean. So then no one's stuck doing nothing! Andddd I'll also pay you, what with my vast treasury and all.

Uh. What other problems does society have? Aaaalso... If you don't have a lot of food, or your crops failed or something, or maybe you're just bored, how about we have a big official royal party every weekend? There will be lots of free food and entertainment. The only catch is you've got to come say hi to me! Then if I like you, you're invited! Easy as that. If you're a total asshole, I guess you'll just don't get any free stuff, huh? So there you go, most important rule: don't be an asshole.

...Uh, if you have any other concerns I'm sure that you can just talk to me. I think we're a pretty cool kingdom otherwise, so hopefully there's not too many problems. Right? Sure.

Re: SPEECHES

[fraternalorders]

[this is all said entirely (sorrowfully???) deadpan]

Fellow Emeralds, though it greives me, we must accept we've been forced into this absurd game, run by this persona who appears to think he's clever but is clearly untrustworthy.

As your ruler I see only one acceptable course of action; one rule to follow. We must drown our sorrows in high quality sake and drankberry pie.

PART THREE...?

[dramatispersonae]

[Mr. Right's voice can be heard, low and reverberating as though coming from inside your own chest--but he only laughs... and then, abruptly, the crowns you are all wearing trigger an effect.

If you are wearing the tiara or the crown of wheat, you are suddenly overcome with the urge to cry.
If you are wearing the kokoshnik or the coronet, you lose your voice completely.
If you are wearing the diadem or the civic crown, you are suddenly overcome with lust.
If you are wearing the mural crown or the naval crown, you suddenly feel incredibly clingy or in need of physical affection.
If you are wearing the hoop crown or the crown of thorns, you suddenly recall your worst memory and are unable to put it out of your mind.
If you are wearing the nemes or the crown of dandelions, you are suddenly overcome with violent urges.
If you are wearing the modius or the coronation crown, you are suddenly overcome with the urge to scream.

Mr. Right speaks, sounding darkly amused.]

I told you, didn't I? A crown's a weighty thing. Too bad--guess I'll have to keep looking for someone better.

[With a sudden jerk, you are brought back to the Ring.]